I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
