Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
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