Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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