either way he was missing a nipple.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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