dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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