i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
