dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
