You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
