i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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