Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
