they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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