I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
