wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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