I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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