I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
