So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
