I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
