the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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