nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
