So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize