the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize