So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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