Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
