What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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