I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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