is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
