you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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