She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
