She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
