If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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