It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
