Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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