I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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