He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
