I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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