My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
