Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
