I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize