I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize