so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
