I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
