i just identified you from a description of your pipe
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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