so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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