why didn't you poke me back
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
