I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I have aggressive nipples.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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