so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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