I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I have aggressive nipples.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
