we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
