it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
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The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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