Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
