She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
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I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
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If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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