we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
