he wants to bone in the snuggie
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
