But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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