am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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