All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
