ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
