Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize