He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
