i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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