Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
