Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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