New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
