I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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